Finally I wake up

Finally,

After I've got the short course about buried down, dilema, confused because I STUCK @ COMFORT ZONE. My life, I dont have any choice in my life. If someone in my age confused between career and lovelife. They stuck, trap between how sucks works and love life was. And me? I didnt have any kind of that situation. No career and love. SUCKS. When I falling love and disappointed because LOVE, and I have crawling for wake up again to reach that feeling. And its done, already. Then, mentally & physical restless. My habit going bad. I drink cofee almost everyday, I always sleep predawn, then wake up with tired. Tired, seems like I running my life and never catch the finish line!. I dont know what it is?, did I too much complain?, NO. Im only human and its normally. I guess. I feel fed up until that day, my emotion already coming out and break the silent. I feel quilty cause I supposed not do it that way. At the point, I feel at the low point then I pray to GOD, asking, beg, crying, realize how very dirty I am. Huffft, after pray, then, I realize I've to meet and talk with somebody. Sharing is the key. Then GOD show me the way, destiny. I've meet with my best friend, old friend actually. Its been for 4 or 5 years that we never meet. Then we sharing, talking together. I felt like, better. So much. Someone else was open my mind. She's not my family, she is someone else. I feel so much better, I've got critical from her, I feel like a slap with the flat of the hand.

OMG, what've done with my life. Oke, I feel disappointed with love, NO, not with love but with PERSON. Oke, back to topic. After I meet with my old friend then I searching for book. my favorit book. GOD sent me destiny to me for make me happy again. then, I bought my dream book, TeenVogue handbook (the book about the insider to get fashion career). Tadinya gw ragu buat beli tu buku karena gw takut itu buku nga akan bawa pengaruh apa-apa buat gw, jatohnya cuma buat bacaan doang. But then I bought that book and hoping that the secret way to get fashion career will be DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME. Oke, gw bukannya nga berusaha untuk meraih impian gw bekerja di bidang fashion. Gw udah ngelamar ke perusahaan atau lowongan-lowongan fashion. But then, there's no respon about my mail. I send email to every company who need stylist, jurnalist, visual merchandiser, any kind of position in fashion industry. BUT THEN NOTHING HAPPEN???. Gw capek dengan keadaan yang begini, lagi-lagi nih setiap gw niat banget ngelamar pasti gagal lagi gagal lagi. Jujur, mental gw sempet DOWN BERAT gara-gara ini, ya iyalaaaaaaah!. Gw sempet berenti nge-apply. Karen gw pikir ; halah, percuma!. Tapi gw nga bisa begini terus, gw harus bangun dari keterpurukan. This time almost worse. Ada waktu dimana semangat gw menyala karena gw sibuk memikirkan orang yang gw suka but then, at the time I'm cry, cry and cry karena sebuah ketolol-an dan kebodohan. Tapi kali ini, gw yakin, YAKIN, atas nama bismillah dan Allah. Pasti sebentar lagi gw akan dapet kerja, gw yakin. Karena tekad gw sudah bulat, I'll follow every jobfair in this year. And I promise to myself that, I will change my bad habit, wake up in morning and try to not sleep again after Subuh, then i feel so inspiring with the handbook. Gw dapet banyak ide-ide brilian ditengah 'lowong dan sepinya' Olshop gw. Dibuku itu gw dapet banyak inspirasi dan motivasi dari beberapa ahli di bidang fashion. Oke, maybe im fail and late to get change internship @ DEUT. Lupakan dia saatnya beralih ke hal yang lain.

You know what, after I falling down, I try to build my new blog. I love write about fashion and some of vacany that I looking for is ; fashion jurnalist. I was think that, why not showing my writing skills as portofolio by blogging???. Secepat kilat hari-hari boring gw isi dengan menulis dan menulis. I have a lot things to write down, have new interesting and knowledge when connect with internet. Alhamdulillah, ini langkah awal untuk berubah dan merubah pandangan tentang hidup gw sendiri. I promise i will got a job this year and will find out my soulmate!!!, Dear GOD, im sorry for doing a lot mistakes that've done. I promise I will change the old habit into positive things.

// I want sharing with someone that I love then he listen every words with patiently and looking me like James Mcavoy do it. Looking deep my eyes and makes me breathtaking. Oh Love, when you coming into my life, should I waiting again????......